i'm so tired of repeating myself,
beating myself up...
so tired, so tired, so tired
-Mulitply, James Lidell
I'm so pissed off with this whole potty training thing. Honestly, Riley KNOWS what to do. Still, he just STANDS THERE AND PEES HIMSELF. I'm going to go insane. I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong. Complete idiots, really SUCKY parents manage to potty train their kids. Why can't I? I feel like a gigantic FAILURE. This sucks, it's the crappiest thing ever. I've spent most of the day either cleaning up Riley's pee puddles or Aislyn's poop.
I don't even think there is any hope. That kid is going to wear diapers FOREVER. Only he's not because there aren't any diapers in the house (in his size, I mean - obviously Aislyn has diapers!). So basically, I'm going to be cleaning up pee puddles forever. I've been frustrated to tears a couple times today. I had JUST asked him, "Do you need to pee?" and he said "No." I asked him to try anyway and he said, "I just don't have to pee, Mama." I let it go, figuring he was telling the truth. Not even two minutes later, he was standing about 3 feet away from his potty, he looked down and he peed all over himself. WHAT THE HELL?!?!? I felt like screaming but I didn't. Almost but I held it in. I DID put him in time-out though. More as a time-out for me than for him, I had to calm down and looking at him was making me angry!
He's smart - so freaking smart it kills me. But he can't pee in a potty? What's the deal with that? I'm going INSANE!
I've literally tried everything. EVERYTHING. There aren't any tricks left. I can't bribe him into being potty trained. I can't force him (obviously!). I can't praise him (I do every time that he goes where he supposed to but apparently it doesn't make a damn bit of difference). I know that he can do it. I am seriously so ridiculously upset right now. I'm on the verge of taking away a toy every time that he pees in his pants. I don't have enough CLOTHING in this house. I'll have to do an entire load of just Riley pants every fucking day. I can't do it.
I feel like if I give in and let him have diapers again, I'll be sending the wrong message but what other choice do I have? Between not sleeping (Aislyn keeps me up until 2 or 3 every night) and this BS with Riley, I'm losing my mind.
If there was some kind of potty-training bootcamp I would SO send Riley there. I would. I'd miss the kid like crazy but if all it took to get him potty-trained was to send him away for 3 or 4 days I would be all over it. Isn't that horrible? Is it? I don't know.
I sound like the world's crappiest mother but I don't even care. I have to bitch to someone and that means you. Look at me, I'm even back to swearing! (In writing.) If it wasn't Easter this weekend, I think he'd be spending the night at my mom's. I'm so tired.
Not depressed. Just tired. Frustrated and tired and SICK OF BODILY FUNCTIONS. I could kick my own ass (and if it was physically possible to do it properly I would!) for not training him sooner. Morning sickness got the better of me and I got lazy. I'm so so so so so so soooooooo mad at myself. And it's hard to be mad at myself without (unintentionally) making Riley feel like I'm mad at him. He's so empathetic that he picks up on every little thing. He knows I'm mad/sad/whatever before I even realize it sometimes. He's not a bad kid and he doesn't deserve to have me mad at him.
I have the most stubborn child in the universe. Which doesn't surprise me really, considering both Kent and I have abnormally high levels of stubbornness. BLAH.
I feel a little better. I suppose I should try to go calmly explain to Riley why I was so upset now. Ugh.
4:34 pm - 02 April 2007
Recent entries:
long december - 30 December 2010
more proof that monkey really is my kid - 16 December 2010
to add or not to add - 10 December 2010
new entries - 06 December 2010
what makes me a bad mother - 17 November 2010
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