Be aware. The crappy-mom-o-meter is through the roof around here today. I have no patience.
I'm completely WIPED today. Aislyn decided to sleep for ten minutes at a time at one hour intervals. FUN STUFF. So I got noooo sleep. And she always does that crap on days when Kent has to be at work early so I can't even catch an hour before he goes to work. So she's been cranky all day (me too!) and Riley, for some reason, is being kind of mean to her. He's been poking her. And when I asked him WHY he was doing that he said, "I'm trying to make her sad again." What the hell is that about? Sigh.
Kent said he was sorry for being a jerk yesterday. I should clarify that it wasn't so much what he said but how he said it that bothered me. He has this unique-to-him tone that he uses when he's irritated that makes me feel stupid and worthless. He could say, "Hi honey, I love you" but if he says it in that tone I would still feel like crap. It's so condescending and demeaning. But oh well. He apologized so it's time to let go. Yeah?
Aislyn's crying right now. I feel like a big arsey jerk but I just. can't. hold. her. anymore. Not right now. She's 100% fine, just overtired. But she won't sleep and she doesn't want to eat and she cries even when I hold her. So what's the difference? I know, I sound like the world's shittiest mom. But you know what? I don't even care right this second. I need to get this crappyness (crappiness?) out of me so I can be a good Mama again.
Aislyn has a doctor's appointment later. More shots. Blah. I'm still pissed off at her (our) doctor for not giving me any medicine for the thrush. The GSE is working okay but really sloooowly. Okay I just went and got her. I'm holding her and typing now. I couldn't stand not holding her. So that lasted about, umm, 5 seconds. Maybe I'm not as mean as I think I am. Erm.
Babies don't even need teeth this young. Really. Gah.
I'm listening to "Emotional Rescue" by the Rolling Stones. hahaha. The next song on the playlist is "Fool to Cry" hahaha. For some reason I find that insanely funny. Don't ask. I don't know.
For the record, Aislyn is still crying and Riley is still mad at me for reprimanding him about poking his sister. Whee.
The only good thing about today is that Kent gets out of work early (for the appointment) which means I might actually get some me time later. He has Mother's Day off. I'm not getting out of bed until at least 10 that day. No joke. Even if he has to bring Aislyn up so I can feed her and then he takes her away again when I'm done. Really.
I think I'm going to take my children outside. Maybe the sun will beat the blues out of them. That's one thing I can't complain about. The weather has been GORGEOUS the past few days.
10:26 am - 10 May 2007
Recent entries:
long december - 30 December 2010
more proof that monkey really is my kid - 16 December 2010
to add or not to add - 10 December 2010
new entries - 06 December 2010
what makes me a bad mother - 17 November 2010
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