It's sooo quiet here right now. It's creeping me out. Kent is working LATE tonight. He won't be home until 9:30, at least. Then he has to leave here at 5:30 in the morning. So by the time he gets home tomorrow he won't have seen his kids for over 24 hours. Sigh.
In a way, it's good when Kent works late. Riley is so much better behaved when he's not here. I hate to admit that, but it's true. Every night Riley throws a fit at bedtime, about every little thing. He doesn't want to take a bath, he doesn't want to read books, he doesn't want to brush his teeth, etc. But not on nights like tonight. It's a little bit sad I think. That I can get both kids to bed (and sleeping well) by myself in less time than it takes for both of us. I wish it was easier when Kent was home, so that I wanted him here. Bleurgh.
I guess things aren't getting better as quickly as I thought. It seems that unless he believes he is in immediate danger of becoming a divorcee then he's not willing to put in much effort. That is NOT to say that he doesn't put in any. Mostly, I've stopped caring enough to even fight anymore. Whatever.
We sort of just co-exist. He does his thing, I do mine. We're not as bad as we were, really. I don't know. We don't fight much anymore. That's a good thing. Although I'm not sure the apathy is so great. What am I supposed to do? I can't make him try, or care. I don't cry about it anymore. It's sad but it's sad in a blah sort of way now.
At night when he is home, I sit with him and we watch (well, he watches, I zone out and think about my day) television. He complains about his job and I pretend to listen. It's the same stuff every day.
I think every marriage goes through ups and downs. We still love each other. We're just too tired for all the bullshit right now. I'm sure when he gets a vacation, it will turn around. I hope I'm not foolish to get my hopes up.
On the plus side, Kent HAS made an effort in one particular thing. Usually every year during the summer I have to literally drag him places. This year HE decided that he wants to take the kids to Gray's Animal Farm. All on his own. So we're doing that sometime next month probably. Then we'll stay with his brother (Sean, the good one) for a day or two. Yay - I get to see my nephew! :) I was shocked when he suggested it. You have no idea how hard it is to get him out of the house. Sometimes I feel like I'm married to a set-in-his-way 80 year old man. Really. But maybe he's trying harder than I give him credit for.
We're sitting on the camera issue for the time being. Kent's next day off is on Tuesday. He wants to buy ANOTHER camera that day, compare it to the one we just bought, and then take back whichever one we like less. It feels WRONG to do that, buy something when you know you'll probably take it back. Oh well, haha. I guess they should make/sell better cameras then, dammit. ;)
Yeep. Aishy's awake. She has 6 teeth now and I've just discovered she's cutting two more. Teething's a bitch.
7:45 pm - 21 June 2007
Recent entries:
long december - 30 December 2010
more proof that monkey really is my kid - 16 December 2010
to add or not to add - 10 December 2010
new entries - 06 December 2010
what makes me a bad mother - 17 November 2010
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