No pictures today....
I just watched "World Trade Center" - the film about John McLoughlin & Will Jimeno on 9/11. It has Nicolas Cage, which is why I have it. Anyway.
I know it's crazy ridiculous that 9/11 didn't affect me when it happened but it is now. I saw the things on television, like everyone else. I heard the news reports and everything. It's just.. it's different when you see it on a tiny screen - in the same format that you see everything else. There is so much CRAP on tv. So it was just something that happened and it didn't happen to ME and my life went on, as usual.
Now I'm feeling anxious and bothered that it didn't bother me before. I watched the movie with the commentary on, from people who were there. Who actually lived through that and it's just awful. To hear it that way. To be presented with what the families were going through. I can't even imagine. Being stuck like that, not being able to move and not knowing if anyone will ever find you. It's making me feel ill.
Urgh. I know how loopy I must sound. I do. I find it easy to empathize with an individual... when I see one person going through something - I feel it. But something on such a massive scale, I couldn't even process it. Now - having heard the stories of two specific people - it's a much sharper thing. It's weird. I'm weird. I know.
A woman's baby was shaken by his babysitter and he has shaken baby syndrome. (link) I came across this last night and it makes me feel so grateful that I haven't had to go back to work. I'm so lucky to be able to keep my kids with me, to know that they are safe. I feel so bad for this woman. Her son is right around Aislyn's age and I can't even imagine what I would do if I were in her shoes. If I could pray... I would pray for them. So I guess I'm asking for you, if you can, to pray for them.
I need to try harder. To be more thankful for what I have. To really enjoy all of this- Kent, the kids (my wonderfully healthy kids), just everything - my whole life. All the shit that I have been through. It's nothing compared to what so many others have to deal with. I should just be more thankful and stop bitching so much. I hate being human.
10:08 pm - 09 June 2007
Recent entries:
long december - 30 December 2010
more proof that monkey really is my kid - 16 December 2010
to add or not to add - 10 December 2010
new entries - 06 December 2010
what makes me a bad mother - 17 November 2010
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